Senior Health: As a caregiver for an elderly parent or spouse, what would have helped you most in your role as caregiver?
Answers
1. First and foremost, take care of yourself.
We can only effectively help others if we first help ourselves. When you’re a caregiver, one of the most crucial things you can do is take care of yourself. When you satisfy your needs, the person you care for gains the benefits, too.
2. Taking Charge of Your Health
You can’t reverse the impact of chronic or progressive illness or a devastating injury on someone you love. You can do several things to take responsibility for your well-being and satisfy your own needs.
3. Recognizing Personal Obstacles
Attitudes and ideas often create personal obstacles that prevent you from caring for yourself. Taking care of others can be a better alternative than taking care of yourself, a lifetime practice. It’s also critical to ask yourself: “What will happen to the person I care for if I get sick? “What if I die?” Breaking old habits and overcoming challenges is not easy, but your age or situation is entirely feasible. The first step in reducing personal barriers to self-care is identifying what hinders you. Caregivers may have misunderstandings that add to their stress and prevent them from practicing effective self-care.
The most common ones are:
• I am accountable for my parents’ health.
• No one else will do it if I don’t.
• If I do things correctly, I will receive the love, attention, and respect I deserve.
• Our family always looks after their own.
• I promised my father that I would always look after my mother.
Negative self-talk, like “I never do anything correctly,” or “There’s no way I could find the time to exercise,” is another significant obstacle that can cause excessive stress. Try positive statements instead: “I’m competent at giving John a bath.” “I can work out for 15 minutes a day.” Remember that your mind accepts what you feed it.
4. Constructive Communication
One of the most critical tools for a caregiver is communicating constructively. When you speak assertively and constructively, others will hear you, and you’ll receive the help and assistance you need.
5. Requesting and Receiving Help
How often have you said, “Thank you, but I’m okay,” when others have asked if they can help you? Many carers are unsure how to draw the goodwill of others and are hesitant to seek help. You may not want to “burden” people or admit that you cannot handle things on your own. Prepare a mental list of ways in which people can help you.
Someone could, for example, take the person you care for a 15-minute stroll a couple of times each week. Your neighbour may go to the grocery shop and pick up a few items for you. A relative might fill out some insurance paperwork. People are more willing to help when the tasks are simplified. And they are eager to help. To let them know it’s up to you.
Patience. Patience and patience. The fact is that there are many days in my career that I’m fed up with everything; however, when I see these angels offering me a kind of magical unconditional love, I can’t help but give it back to them.
A couple of months before the pandemic, my dad was diagnosed with vascular dementia. I had no plans or an idea of my next move. Our family doctor suggested a nursing home. But when the whole world got shut down, I decided to take care of him myself. I did a lot of research and joined an online forum. I learned down the road to take care of myself too.
At first, everything was so chaotic. I had never worked from home before, and I had to take care of a person who had been taking care of me my whole life. I remember how frustrated I used to become, and my stress would worsen his mood swings. So I turned to yoga and music, my old hobbies (sometimes, we practiced together). Walking was also a great mood booster for both of us.
At first, when people decide to play the role of caregiver for their parents or beloved ones, everyone thinks it wouldn’t be so difficult. Caregiving is not just about making an appointment with the doctors or reminding your loved ones to take their peels! If you take it so easy, everything will be out of control in a blink of an eye. Organizing every data and detail is essential in the first place; it’s perfect for making a comprehensive plan to ensure everything will be taken care of. Create a daily to-do list based on the schedule to ensure everything is under control. You can perfectly manage the time and handle everything without getting confused by doing all of these steps.
